February 7, 2015 ~ “This Is Just Too Hard!”


A close friend

of over 35 years finally drew her last breath as the Chemotherapy killed her trying to kill the breast cancer that had metz to her liver and bones. She found out after 20 years bilateral breast matect0mies that it had returned.

I met Julia Anna Alvarez (Julie) when she was 17 years old.


I worked at a Developmental Disable Center as

I am knocking out all the pre-reqs I needed to enter nursing school, I worked for a Nursing Registry, Medical Personnel Pool, as an Orderly.

One of my regular jobs was taking care of a lil developmentally disabled girl named Michelle. Julie loved this lil girl and took care of her on my days off of different shifts.

She was always buggin me in how I was taking care of Michelle, what I was dong wrong or should be doing right. She got on my nerves.

Here I am some 15 years older than her, been to a war, TWICE!! and she was in high school, tellin me how to care for my patient! She was a firecracker!

Left that job to drive ambulances.

I got  into nursing school and had a nursing buddy I hooked up with, Danny, cuz, he had a motorcycle as his main transportation, as I also did, rain or shine, our bikes, four years!

Danny met and fell in love with Julie, Julie was now back in my life, we were getting along much better now.

They got married.

Julie was a couple years behind Danny & I in school, so we would always quiz her, on her studies.

She did graduate and we three now were Nurses!

I met Jennie and introduced her to my friends, they attended our wedding.

They divorced, but we remained friends as she was now a good friend with Jennie, It was Julie who we called in the middle of the night and took to the hospital with us when we needed a babysitter for my 4 y/o stepdaughter Colie in order to deliver our first baby.

Julie was there for the birth of our first child

Natalie Blue Jackson.

Julie then met and married Fabio Duarte~ they started a family and had a combined 5 kids, 4 girls and the last child a boy, same as Jennie and I ~ they would travel to our lil double wide trailer for Christmas some 600 miles north of them where the 14 of us would laugh, cook and have a great time. Then we’d turn around and go stay with them .


I talked to Julie about RSO, she was not convinced by the anecdotes, I couldn’t talk her into taking it, she trusted Pharmaceuticals.

She had pain, the chemo really beat her up ~ I believe the Chemo made her so weak her body could no longer fight the cancer or anything else needing an immune system.

In October she was experiencing abdomen pain ~ went in ~ cancer had metz to Liver & Bones, another round of poison ~it gave her another 5 more months.


I have a good friend who I love dearly, she pretty much has the same situation as Julie except she has not had the re occurrence of the cancer ~ as of yet, ~ I so worry about her.

Julie was in remission for I believe over 20 years, but she had many more I believe to be lived ~ if she would trusted more in God’s Gift than men playing God.

Seriously, I see Medical Marijuana as “The Bronze Snake On The Pole” in The story of Moses and The Children of Israel in The Wilderness. (Numbers 21:5 ~ 9

When they were bitten by “Fiery Vipers”  and dying, all they had to do was “Look Up” at the snake, and they were healed.

A little more involved today, but the “Gift” from God is the is Cannabis ~ and the now-day Fiery Vipers that are biting the people? 


BOTH sent by God to His children He loved but were disobedient and railed against Him & Moses.

Cancer is the modern day Fiery Vipers, but look what He does ~~~ In both incidences, He send


All we have to do is “Look UP!”

I am just so sad right now, my heart is broken!

For my friends, and pitifully ~ for myself!

This is the last picture and cover page Julie put up on her facebook page as her avatar, and of all her pictures ~ its my favorite as it is how she saw herself